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CONFIDENCE

SECURITY

TRUE LOVE  

 

Men love women who are secure. In the end it does not matter how beautiful or accomplished or kind you are. 

And, if you do not identify the  negative patterns that keep you from being secure they will continue running your life. You will keep feeling frustrated and lonely. And you will continue to block the love that is speeding toward you right this moment.

But... It is within every woman’s grasp to take back her power so that she can get the love she wants!

I offer a FREE 30 Minute Consulting Call to discover your unique situation.

I will ask specific questions so that you can begin to establish the clarity which is the foundation of all real change. At the end I will have recommendations on your best steps forward. 

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Stories about love, courage and becoming who you were always meant to be.  

 

Author of You Had Me at Bonjour. Relationship expert. International speaker. Helping women create relationships built on truth instead of fear.

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Order The Book YOU HAD ME AT BONJOUR

Dufflyn in the media...

 

Story Magic Retreat

The Paris retreat Dufflyn host swith Rise Literary was featured this year in People Magazine, if you've got a book in you and you're looking for inspiration come and join us next year at the historic Odeon Theatre. 

 

Live Interview on France 24

Genie Godula interviews Dufflyn as both a Love Coach and author of the memoir "YOU HAD ME AT BONJOUR" about her midlife romance and reinvention. 

 

Women's Addiction Conference

At the She Recovers Conference, 2018 Dufflyn performed "We Are All Recovering From Something" using her signature storytelling to highlight the truth about addiction. 

 

Personal Essay in The LA Times

This essay explores the conflict between feminism and intimacy, the decision to marry or not as a modern woman, and Dufflyn's personal struggle with those themes. 

 

Personal Essay at Business Insider

Dufflyn has written many personal essays for this international news outlet exploring her move from LA to France and the pros and cons of midlife reinvention. 

 

Spoken Word Poem

Dufflyn's anthem for single women everywhere, originally aired on Russell Simons Def POetry on HBO, has gotten over 150,000 views on YouTube

We work from the outside in and the inside out to help you discover who you are, what you want, what's standing in your way and how to overcome those obstacles so that you are forever changed in the process 

 

Private Coaching

I provide a container where you can become secure on your healing journey and thrive in  relationships.

I teach you the skills you need to get the love you want, and improve the love you have. 

Along the way I’m your accountability buddy, cheerleader, “big sister,” and loving mirror. 

I use a combination of Psychoeducation, Coaching and Ideal Parent Figure Protocol to help you complete the transformation from the outside in and the inside out!

This does require a prescreening...

PRESCREENING>

Courses

We offer a variety of courses you can purchase a la carte which address specific issues and can be accessed directly from this site in a self-paced version. From BOUNDARIES ARE THE NEW BLACK which will teach you a 3 Step Process for Creating Boundaries, to LOVE HIM... OR LEAVE HIM? which gives you the clarity, confidence and courage to make a decision you won't regret, to our signature group coaching program HEARTBREAK to HEALED with the exclusive Love Map so that you can learn to date differently.  

LEARN MORE >

We work from the outside in and the inside out to help you discover who you are, what you want, what's standing in your way and how to overcome those obstacles so that you are forever changed in the process 

 

Private Coaching

I provide a container where you can become secure on your healing journey and thrive in  relationships.

I teach you the skills you need to get the love you want, and improve the love you have. 

Along the way I’m your accountability buddy, cheerleader, “big sister,” and loving mirror. 

I use a combination of Psychoeducation, Coaching and Ideal Parent Figure Protocol to help you complete the transformation from the outside in and the inside out!

LEARN MORE >

Courses

We offer a variety of courses you can purchase a la carte which address specific issues and can be accessed directly from this site in a self-paced version. From BOUNDARIES ARE THE NEW BLACK which will teach you a 3 Step Process for Creating Boundaries, to LOVE HIM... OR LEAVE HIM? which gives you the clarity, confidence and courage to make a decision you won't regret, to our signature group coaching program HEARTBREAK to HEALED with the exclusive Love Map so that you can learn to date differently.  

LEARN MORE >

Membership 

Smart Love Society is for those who are bit further along on their journey or have already done Private Coaching with me. 

This membership offers monthly group sessions, a monthly Q&A on the Love Map and Personal Empowerment Plan and a 24hr. written forum called WingWoman In Your Pocket for added support so that you can ditch the douchebags and start dating your dream guy. 

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What is IPF? 

Ideal Parent Figure Protocol is a Meditation Intervention for Attachment Repair

 

So, good news, insecure internal maps of attachment and insecure patterns of behavior can be modified and changed for the better.

Memory is limited to our actual experience with the caregivers we grew up with, but imagination creates new possibilities.

With IPF we do a meditation where you’ll begin to imagine an ideal parent figure for yourself. This exploration is about your ideal parent, someone perfectly suited to your nature in every way.

We are not attempting to repair or replace the actual parenting experiences that you had. We’re trying to make these “completely pristine independent entries into the perceptual database,” as one of my mentors George Haas says.

What happens as you do this work is that after a while you’ll begin to respond differently to the world. You’ll begin to make new choices based on the new “love map” or Internal Working Model.

And this, dear ones, is when we do a little happy dance (and we don’t care who sees us!)

SHOW ME PROOF >

A few wise words from the women who have gone before you...

Maya  Wieder 

CEO/Founder, Dream University and best selling author

"Dufflyn is wise and skilled in many modalities and although I learned so much from her and garnered insight and understanding into my behavior in relationship to others, myself and life, the real gift was in her ongoing support and acknowledgment every step of the way. I experienced deep healing and  transformation that will serve me for many years to come.  I am living a happier, richer, and more meaningful life after working with her and I wholeheartedly recommend working with her if you're committed to growth, expansion and opening to greater love."

 

VALERIA, Prague CZ

When I first came to Dufflyn, I was dealing with many personal challenges such as a breakup, war trauma, moving to a new country, low self-esteem, anger, and anxiety.  Through our work together I gained insight, established healthier relationships, got  clarity on my goals, and acquired the capability to recognize signs of depression and proactively deal with it. This has made a significant difference in my life. Thank you Dufflyn! 

LAUREN, London UK

Having come out of a divorce and an intense rebound relationship, I needed some guidance! I didn’t know what I wanted and I was addicted to dating apps. Finding balance was tough and I was riddled with self doubt. Dufflyn gave me strategies that really helped me evaluate the guys I was dating and gave me vocabulary to name what I was feeling. I have been dating my boyfriend for 9 months. I wouldn’t have found myself (and also him!) without Dufflyn’s help.

MICHELLE, Paris FR

Dufflyn helped me make realizations about my relationship and behaviors in order to figure out if I want to either improve the relationship or end it. She guided me to make the right, self-respecting choices for me. I find her direct, focused approach useful and efficient. There is now more awareness of our needs, honesty and respect for each other.We had a good result and the relationship has improved.

JENNY, Calgary AB

After I hit one year in Recovery, I felt my 11 year marriage was missing a spark. Dufflyn gave me the ease and confidence that I needed – for my relationship and my recovery.  I have re-connected with my husband through the changes within myself and tools that I learned from Dufflyn. 

MAGGIE, California USA

It may sound drastic to say something like “Dufflyn Lammers gave me my husband,” but there is truth to that statement. I really had some problems with dependency, codependency and addictive behaviors and she helped me see what my needs were with clarity and particularly just letting me see who my best self is. 

FRAN, Florida USA

I felt safe from the beginning. Dufflyn was very easy to talk to, she listened, and she asked hard questions that made me think. She reframed what I said so that I really heard what I was really saying. She remembered everyone's name, she was prepared and had a goal for each meeting. She was great.

Tanya

Paris, FR

"Working with Dufflyn has completely shifted my baseline. I’ve traded the fear of being 'alone forever' for a life where I feel grounded and supported by my Ideal Parents. I no longer just tolerate my alone time—I embrace it—and I walk into the world feeling truly secure. 

The clarity I’ve gained from my Love Map and Empowerment Plan is incredible. I finally feel aligned with my true values, which allows me to step out into the world feeling grounded and magnetic. It has shown me exactly where I can continue to grow and has given me the strength to never settle, while finding genuine joy and peace in my own company. 

My time with Dufflyn has felt like a masterclass in returning to myself. I now find it so much easier to accept people for who they truly are; I’ve traded judgment for grace and curiosity, and it has made my interactions feel light, flowing, and completely authentic."

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