Men love women who are secure. In the end it does not matter how beautiful or accomplished or kind you are. 

And, if you do not identify the  negative patterns that keep you from being secure they will continue running your life. You will keep feeling like a victim. And you will continue to block the love that is speeding toward you right this moment.

But... It is within every woman’s grasp to take back her power if she is willing to do the work!

I offer a FREE 30 Minute Consulting Call to discover your unique situation.

I will ask specific questions so that you can begin to establish the clarity which is the foundation of all real change. At the end I will have recommendations on your best steps forward. 


Finally find love without years of therapy or even one more heartbreak

The worst thing is feeling like a teenager when it comes to love (that was hard enough the first time, am I right?)


➡️ How do you love without losing your center?

➡️ How do you change who you’re attracted to?

➡️ How do you decide if the relationship you’re in is the right one for you?

➡️ How do you get over a breakup? 


We will demystify dating and relationships and help you navigate this wild wild country so that you can finally have the love you want. 


What to expect...

Begin to tell a new story, one where you are the lead character (not some sidekick) 


Relax & Let Go

I'll teach you how to have the boundaries that will keep you safe, with accountability and support to make them stick, so that you can leave anxiety and hurt in the rear view mirror and go with the flow instead!


No More Negative Nelly

Our solutions will help you drop the resentments, trust yourself to take care of yourself, and walk away from toxic people which means-- Hope. Is. Back. 


Shift Your Thinking

I use a coaching method that works from the “outside in” and the “inside out”  to generate an internal shift that will change the way you feel about yourself, the world, and others 

You'll look back on this and laugh


I left a toxic relationship only to be single for 12 long years. Geez that sucked. I made a lot of mistakes along the way. But, like the Dalai Lama says "When you lose, don't lose the lesson."

At last I got clarity, became willing to take responsibility for myself, and took inspired action. I spent a summer in Paris and met a handsome Frenchman and I was finally ready for love. 

It's easy to look back and laugh about the mistakes I made (again and again) because I'm no longer struggling. 

Now, I pass on the wisdom I gained through personal experience as well as my training in Attachment Repair, Tantra, Coaching and Intervention.

I've helped hundreds of women let go of toxic relationships, heal from breakups, learn a new way to date, and finally have the love they want!  


Going Through a Breakup? 

 Should You Stay or Go? 

Doing Love Sober? 

Done Being Single?

We work from the outside in and the inside out to help you discover who you are, what you want, what's standing in your way and how to overcome those obstacles so that you are forever changed in the process 


Private Coaching

I provide a container where you can become secure on your healing journey and thrive in  relationships.

I teach you the skills you need to get the love you want, and improve the love you have. 

Along the way I’m your accountability buddy, cheerleader, “big sister,” and loving mirror. 

I use a combination of Psychoeducation, Coaching and Ideal Parent Figure Protocol to help you complete the transformation from the outside in and the inside out!



We offer a variety of courses you can purchase a la carte which address specific issues and can be accessed directly from this site in a self-paced version. From BOUNDARIES ARE THE NEW BLACK which will teach you a 3 Step Process for Creating Boundaries, to LOVE HIM... OR LEAVE HIM? which gives you the clarity, confidence and courage to make a decision you won't regret, to our signature group coaching program HEARTBREAK to HEALED with the exclusive Love Map so that you can learn to date differently.  



Smart Love Society is for those who are bit further along on their journey or have already done Private Coaching with me. 

This membership offers monthly group sessions, a monthly Q&A on the Love Map and Personal Empowerment Plan and a 24hr. written forum called WingWoman In Your Pocket for added support so that you can ditch the douchebags and start dating your dream guy. 


You're 3 steps away from transforming your love life

Schedule A Consulting Call

During this Free 30 minute conversation I will ask specific questions to learn about your unique situation, what you’re struggling with and identify the breakthroughs you are hoping to make. At the end I'll have some recommendations on your best steps forward. 

Get Into the Solution

My proven process will educate you and guide you through my Signature 3 Pillar Process of finding CLARITY, SELF RESPONSIBILITY and finally taking INSPIRED ACTION. With One to One and group support you'll have everything you need to find T.R.U.E. Love. 

Watch the dial move on your results


For some women it's about creating more boundaries in the relationship they're in, for others it's making a choice about that relationship, or letting go of an ex, and still others are single and ready to begin dating in a new way. Step by step we let old habits fall away and we make new, healthy, empowered choices. 


What is IPF? 

Ideal Parent Figure Protocol is a Meditation Intervention for Attachment Repair


So, good news, insecure internal maps of attachment and insecure patterns of behavior can be modified and changed for the better.

Memory is limited to our actual experience with the caregivers we grew up with, but imagination creates new possibilities.

With IPF we do a meditation where you’ll begin to imagine an ideal parent figure for yourself. This exploration is about your ideal parent, someone perfectly suited to your nature in every way.

We are not attempting to repair or replace the actual parenting experiences that you had. We’re trying to make these “completely pristine independent entries into the perceptual database,” as one of my mentors George Haas says.

What happens as you do this work is that after a while you’ll begin to respond differently to the world. You’ll begin to make new choices based on the new “love map” or Internal Working Model.

And this, dear ones, is when we do a little happy dance (and we don’t care who sees us!)


A few words from clients who have gone before you... 



When I first came to Dufflyn, I was dealing with many personal challenges such as a breakup, war trauma, moving to a new country, low self-esteem, anger, and anxiety.  Through our work together I gained insight, established healthier relationships, got  clarity on my goals, and acquired the capability to recognize signs of depression and proactively deal with it. This has made a significant difference in my life. Thank you Dufflyn! 


Having come out of a divorce and an intense rebound relationship, I needed some guidance! I didn’t know what I wanted and I was addicted to dating apps. Finding balance was tough and I was riddled with self doubt. Dufflyn gave me strategies that really helped me evaluate the guys I was dating and gave me vocabulary to name what I was feeling. I have been dating my boyfriend for 9 months. I wouldn’t have found myself (and also him!) without Dufflyn’s help.


Dufflyn helped me make realizations about my relationship and behaviors in order to figure out if I want to either improve the relationship or end it. She guided me to make the right, self-respecting choices for me. I find her direct, focused approach useful and efficient. There is now more awareness of our needs, honesty and respect for each other.We had a good result and the relationship has improved.

JENNY, Calgary AB

After I hit one year in Recovery, I felt my 11 year marriage was missing a spark. Dufflyn gave me the ease and confidence that I needed – for my relationship and my recovery.  I have re-connected with my husband through the changes within myself and tools that I learned from Dufflyn. 

MAGGIE, California USA

It may sound drastic to say something like Dufflyn Lammers gave me my husband,” but there is truth to that statement. I really had some problems with dependency, codependency and addictive behaviors and she helped me see what my needs were with clarity and particularly just letting me see who my best self is. 

FRAN, Florida USA

I felt safe from the beginning. Dufflyn was very easy to talk to, she listened, and she asked hard questions that made me think. She reframed what I said so that I really heard what I was really saying. She remembered everyone's name, she was prepared and had a goal for each meeting. She was great.

Watch the Free Masterclass:

Learn the secrets of Secure Attachment

So that you can have healthy empowering relationships that last