Dufflyn Lammers

CRS, CPC, CIP (in training)

This is My Story

All my life I have been a writer, an actor and a storyteller. I appeared to have it all together. I worked very hard at keeping that illusion alive. Beneath the surface I was hiding a secret self. Inside I was full of despair and conflict and self-hatred. I was lost. I was alone. I hated the person only I knew I was becoming. And I had no idea how to change. My plan was simply suicide.

One day I met someone who shared with me about his own recovery from substance use disorder and who then disappeared from my life, much to my shock! Why wouldn’t anyone want to hang out with me!? Around that same time I went to get my prescriptions refilled and for the first time in my life a doctor refused to give me the controlled substances I’d asked for. Then, I was on the phone with my oldest friend one day and she asked me if I was high.

“When am I not high?” I joked.

“Call me back when you’re not.” She hung up on me.

I was wearing a mask that everyone could see through, but I didn’t know how to take it off.

 

When I had nowhere left to turn, I made a decision to change my life, though I was not sure how to make it happen.

Over the next 13 years I engaged in every modality from therapy to meditation to support programs to ecstatic dance to breathwork to yoga to writing workshops to creative visualization to EMDR to… well, you get the picture. I read everything I could get my hands on. I got a lot of coaching. And I began to change. I began to tell a new story–one that was focused on authenticity, discovery and possibility. I fought through my old ideas to a new version of myself.

The mask began to fall away and I felt free for the first time since I was a small child.

I worked as a career coach for actors for 11 years in Los Angeles. I am now a Certified Recovery Specialist and work all over the world as a Professional Recovery Coach. My specialty is sex and love addiction.

It is my mission to pass on what I have learned about how to APPLY the tools that are available to all of us by mentoring, guiding and supporting my clients on their own individual journeys.

 

All photography on this site by Lily Noelle Rogers. Illustration by Alisa Chompupong. All Rights Reserved, Recovery Girl TM 2016