YOU HAD ME AT BONJOUR - Ep. 1 5- "Avoidance"

Dec 14, 2023

What happens when you’re ready to date again?  You get scared.   

In this episode Amy updates us about her first dating adventures (tragedies if you ask her). 

I call it as I see it – Amy is talking herself out of dating. She’s “too old,” she’s depressed, she’s got to write a book, she doesn’t want to do online dating because of her history, she’s underweight and doesn’t want to be sexual with someone, and she might even be open to dating girls! 

She’s feeling better about her ability to manage her anxiety, but what are all these excuses? Avoidance.

Can I get her to choose to be in the solution, and what solution will work? 

My guest Amy Dresner is a journalist, author, and former comedian as well as a recovering addict and alcoholic. She was a regular columnist for the addiction/recovery magazine since 2012 and has freelanced for, Psychology Today, Vice, Salon and many other publications.

Her first book, “My Fair Junkie: A Memoir of Getting Dirty and Staying Clean,” was published by Hachette in 2017 to rave reviews from critics and readers alike. Elle magazine compared Dresner’s darkly comic memoir to Carrie Fisher’s “Postcards from the Edge” and Mary Karr’s “Lit,” calling Dresner’s book “one for the ages.”

Dresner has appeared on the television show The Doctors and on numerous radio shows and podcasts, including Dr. Drew, Dopey and Rich Roll. She does regular speaking engagements around the U.S. She is the co-host to Joe Schrank of the new Rehab Confidential Podcast. Her book is currently in development for a TV series.

In This Episode:

[:9] Amy’s friend wants to set her up.  

[2:00] Dating is about taking a risk, what does it feel like? 

[3:26] Amy’s anxiety is better because of the dating plan and the containment it offers but the avoidance is kicking up. 

[6:10] What does Amy need to do differently to stay out of obsession? 

[6:41] We address Amy’s anxiety about the dating plan. 

[11:27] Taking small risks is how we build self trust and increase our window of tolerance. 

[13:30] Amy is talking herself out of dating, what’s that about? 

[13:39] Because “” If only. 

[14:26] Is Amy open to dating girls? 

[16:36] My challenge to Amy: Date yourself! 

[22:10] Amy commits to a date with herself at the “fucking flea market.” 

[24:23] A When she feels this much resistance, she knows to move toward it. Bravo Amy! 

Links for stuff we talked about in this episode:

If you relate to Amy's struggle, schedule a FREE 30-Minute Consultation Call today. You can tell me about your unique situation and I'll have some ideas on your best steps forward. 

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